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Breaking Through (2005)

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Lyrics

Saw her lookin' up at me

Eyes sparkling with beauty

Looked back but walked on by

Curse myself 'cause I didn't even try

She was just sittin' all alone

As if waiting for me

To come and take her away

Into a Piscean dream.

 

And any feelings I have

Are everything I deserve

For not turning around

And letting myself be heard

 

You could have been the world

Or just another girl

I'll never know now

So I just push it all down

 

And I still see that face

Lingering in my mind

Useless to forget no matter how hard I try

And will you wait for me?

I'm running as fast as I can

I feel like you're close to me

But I can't find you again

 

© 2005 Michael Barnes

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Lyrics

Thinking like she'll be here right beside me

When I wake up from a long night's sleep

I know it's farfetched, but I still make it possible

In my mind, but it's all just a lie

 

I always hope for the best

Expectations always too high and never met

It's too easy to escape reality

When you're living the piscean dream

 

And it's no wonder why I get so hurt

Everytime I build a thought to gold from dirt

I can make her seem like a one-of-a-kind angel

When I don't even know her that well

 

I am my worst enemy

Never argued with someone as much as myself

When all the small things could lead to big things

It's hard to make choices without feeling a sting

 

But sometimes I just have to spring from the dream world

And realize what I have to do in this world

Michael Barnes
2005-02-08

Lyrics

Through the dark lens of my life

I see a light that shines so bright

It moves like silk against the wind

I know it won't ever be mine

 

This is only temporary...

 

I stare into the eyes of beauty

It stares back, a smile on its face

But deep inside I cannot hide

This won't go right, it never does

 

This is only temporary...

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Lyrics

All this stress inside me

Eating away at my life

Clouding my thoughts

Will I find the cure I've always saught?

 

Every day there's something new

To sway me from the light

A darkness I can't penetrate

Sometimes I just wonder why

 

When I think of all the things I can be

And I know I've got a gift for all to see

There's always something holding me when others run free

Where's my measure of peace?

 

I can't think straight

And I'm becoming what I hate

Agitated at my fate

Sometimes I just wanna start all over again

 

But I know that's not the answer

I have to force myself

I've got to keep on moving

I can't quit now

 

When I think of all the things I can be

And I know I've got a gift for all to see

There's always something holding me when others run free

Where's my measure of peace?

 

Far away

I know there's a safe place for me

To escape from these troubles

I know it's there

But how long 'till I reach it?

It's hard to tell

Just its existence gives me hope

 

Michael Barnes © 2004 

Michael Barnes
2004-11-28

Lyrics

Like an autumn leaf ready to fall

I hold on with all my strength but its inevitable

I lose my support and down I descend

But out from nowhere you reach out your hand

Like a gift from above your presence is unreal

Like a white flag in the middle of a battlefield

You hold me tight, healing all my soars

I know you are everything and more

 

Every time I try to tell you what I feel the words fall apart

You can't be real

You're everything that I want, my sanctuary, my light

None of my words feel right

 

Your voice, sweeter than any song

In my arms you belong, honored to have you by my side

To guard you while you sleep

To hold you while you weep

 

But I forgot to say…

 

You tempt me

You tease me

You make me want to be with you

But it's just an illusion

One of your masks

You wear to confuse everyone that you choose

The Libra can't please the Pisces

You cripple me every time

You break my heart and my body dies

I want to just erase my memory of you

 

You manipulate my emotions

Toying with everything that is me and my feelings are shit in your eyes

To you my pain is always a surprise

 

Throw me away

You don't need me anymore

 

It's amazing that you can walk away from anything

Stop it all and go again

Lead a new life with no remorse

Forget those that cared with no report

Pouring salt in my open soars

You might as well just take a knife and stab it in my back

'Cause that's what you did mentally inside

And I just want to ask why but I stop myself

It's not worth the trouble, you'd probably only lie

 

How can you feel so good while I feel so bad?

 

Throw me away

You don’t need me anymore

 

Attention is all you seek

Your vision of love is bleak

Everyone is just a pawn in your game of chess that you control

If only you'd let me know

That you were only for show

Before I got attached then lost it all, adding to my endless sorrow

 

I gave you my world for you to spit on

Mourned for your fallen when it was all a lie

You told me you loved me just to keep me on the line

You're the greatest actress I've ever met

 

I put my life on hold for you

You saw me as a tool that you could use

Your lies were your method of abuse

Nothing you told me was ever true

 

Throw me away

You don't need me anymore

 

You take away

The darkness in my life

And bring forth heavenly light

I know I'll sleep tonight

 

                                                      © 2004 Michael Barnes

 

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Lyrics

My one and only sanctuary

 

What has become of my only place?

Where I can go to find solace?

And escape reality

Into my only sanctuary

 

Pray that I'll be saved from these hellish creations

Every time I dream of something beautiful it gets washed with blood

 

© Michael Barnes 2005

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Lyrics

Back to the cause

The gate to a path

I longed to forget

Now fully opaque

The road that I'll take

Still hard to say

But something tells me

I should have stayed far away

A meeting with fate

Blind with my life on a plate

I stumble into the way of a forgotten day

Though in my voice

I am far from myself

Diplomatic outside my untrusting inside

 

What do you have to offer me?

I know how much I can offer you

Do you really appeal to me anymore?

Enough to reopen that door?

 

A positive song

While I walk away

The melody would change

If I could try again

So oblivious

To the fire you brought me

If I let you know

Could you ever agree?

Or would you prevaricate

Again in my eyes

Your guilty self

Shows through your cries

But it'll be obvious

Whether I hit or miss

With the choice that i made

I know I'll be betrayed again

 

What do you have to offer me?

I know how much I can offer you

Do you really appeal to me anymore?

Enough to reopen that door?

 

© 2005 Michael Barnes

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Lyrics

Hey there seductress

Give those pretty eyes a rest

You can't begin to comprehend

The kind of message you send when you look at me that way

Either get in or get out of the game

Unless you like what you do to me

Staying away for days, leaving me to decay

Then coming back with so much glee in your face

 

The center of all confusion lies within you

But I don't have to feed into it anymore

Now you can play me from behind a door

 

You're worse than any bully

At least I'd know he didn't like me

Can you even give me a hint?

Or do your like to keep me in suspense?

 

Well I've got something to let you know

I'm done being your platonic John Doe

I deserve better than you anyway

Now it's time to look the other way

 

The center of all confusion lies within you

But I don't have to feed into it anymore

Now you can play me from behind a door

 

But then I think to myself

This isn't even worth it

To talk about, to write about, to go on about

Wanna end it now but a question rises somehow

 

Am I beating you or are you beating me?

 

Sometimes the subject can turn around

(You could care less if you heard my words)

When I realize that I'm only wrong

(I bet I don't even exist in your mind)

And my aim isn't what it planned to be

(Just a guy you notice from time to time)

As you're the one who's beating me

 

 

I can only stop myself

I can only block you out

I can only cure myself

I can only stomp you out

 

The center of all confusion lies within you

But I don't have to feed into it anymore

Now you can play me from behind a door

 

© Michael Barnes 2005

Michael Barnes
0000-00-00

Story

I wrote this song after watching the Band of Brothers series around 2003 (my friend had let me borrow the DVDs).  The episode "Bastogne" in particular was incredibly visceral, and it inspired me to start writing A Soldier's Song.  The 2004 US presidential election was also right around the corner, and I was very opposed to George W. Bush being in office another 4 years.  I knew there'd just be more war with him as our president, so I put my feelings on that into the lyrics as well--hoping to use the song as a sort of an anti-war anthem.  

This was also the first song I'd written for the "Michael Barnes" project, and the first song where I sang many of the lyrics instead of whispered.

Lyrics

Why do we fight these foolish wars?

Deployed by men as human as I

How can we kill ourselves?

And feel like we did something right?

What gave us strength to pull the trigger?

Allowed us to care about who is bigger?

Who enabled all this pain?

What is this lesson?  To suppress our aggression?

 

Then what about the anger?

Why was that created?

Just to have eachother fighting 'till we've been eradicated?

 

If only we'd come together and let go of our flags

But we don't care until it's us wearing the dog tags

 

Gripping death in my hands I pray for forgiveness

Hoping that whatever God left long ago would come back

I turn my head and see my brothers in ruin

But what I really see is fate because it'll happen to me soon

 

Why should I have to pay for what that bastard devised?

I won't kill a man in any battle you've organized

Land of the free, or so they said long ago

I guess that's why they send a draft

'Cause we're free, ya know?

 

Boys become men overnight in fear

Landing in an area they know nothing about

Taught to kill, and forced to hate

To be a machine and let go of all the feeling

 

Shoot the guys who're told to be bad

Laugh and cheer when your task is done

Look at the body and take all he has

But don't realize, he's just as human as you

A father's son

 

How is this man's life more important than mine

For me to fall in his hands, pulled away from my sanctuary?

Face in the mud, eyes aimed through an ironsight

All I can do is forget about home because I'm here to die

 

I look up at the sky and see parachutes glide

My thoughts shut down, fear takes over, running for cover

The smoke of explosives contaminates the air

There's nothing I can do but play along in this affair

 

Everywhere I turn is a firefight

They will close around me

Here comes the end of my life

I hide in a corner and pray I'm found soon

By a friend of my country that I never paid attention to

 

How is this man's life more important than mine

For me to fall in his hands, pulled away from my sanctuary?

Face in the mud, eyes aimed through an ironsight

All I can do is forget about home because I'm here to die

 

(I'm here to die

Why must we destroy ourselves for old white men

Who don't even care?)

 

Michael Barnes © 2003

Michael Barnes
2005-00-00

Lyrics

Why does everything feel setup

Everyday I feel someone laughing at me

Controlling my fate with insane glee

Dropping in front of me people I don't wanna see

It's all just a big game to you

When you cut me open and lick the wound

I have no love for this apparition

That sits above the rest like it's the best

 

But you're no better than me

You can't control me

You just set up the stage

And hope I get enraged

But I'm not playing your game

I'm not playing your game

 

Like a mouse in a maze

You put me in to watch how I get out

But I break down your walls every time

Too many times to count

 

And that's how it'll always be

You'll get nothing from me

I won't succumb to your ugly deeds

My actions will plant the seeds for the rest to see

 

You won't take away my freedom

To change the way I live my life

To choose between forgiveness or strife

What's wrong or right

What's black or white

 

But you're no better than me

You can't control me

You just set up the stage

And hope I get enraged

But I'm not playing your game

I'm not playing your game

 

© Michael Barnes 2005

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